Our sandy park

There have been some things about moving to Waco that have had me very weirdly unnerved. As in, they're not serious things, but in the scheme of every day life, they hold a certain amount of importance to me. I didn't realize one of them until today, when I tried to makeup to the boys for all that closet cleaning I did yesterday with a day full of all fun and absolutely no cleaning. Today held promises of not only a trip to the museum in the afternoon, but a new park in the morning. My kids love nothing more than the promise of a new park.

We've tried a few, but honestly I've tried to avoid park-hunting and leave that to Cody on the weekends. There is one park that we can walk to, but it's not very big or interesting, and it didn't take the kids long to realize that if we were walking to the park, it was going to be that one lame playground and would immediately suggest alternate ideas (like, "how 'bout a new park...?") So today, I took a risk, and we hunted down a park that a stranger-turned-friend recommended to me when she found out I wanted a park with sand. So we went, and there was sand, and some things started to come into focus.

I've been a little depressed about not having a park that we claimed as "our park." You know, the park that the kids assume you're going to when you say, "Hey, let's go the park!" If you have toddlers and you don't have a park, find one. It's best if it has sand. All the parks in Germany had sand, and if any of you followed me on Instagram, you saw that we spent a lot of time at the park. It was such a huge part of our existence, and although taking my kids to a playground has never been one of my favorite activities, my life felt off-kilter without that routine. I hadn't expected it to be difficult to find a park that felt right to us, but I felt relaxed and happy to be at the one we visited today. And I could tell that Seb and Bruno felt that same sudden wave of peace melt over them as they finally got out their little Spielstabil cups and shovels again and got to work. Some other kids brought toys too, so they traded and negotiated and once Bruno came up to me and said, "Mommy, I have some new friends!"It felt so normal, and their play was peaceful and creative and dirty. Seb stood at the bottom of the big slide and reassured a tentative Bruno that he would catch him. Later, I looked up to spot Seb pushing Bruno on the swing, just because. When he was finished, I lifted Bruno out of the swing and made sure he knew that it was because "Basti loves you so very much." I wish you could have seen his smile.

October

A pumpkin patch in too warm weather, an impromptu father-son ice cream date on our front porch, seasonal crafts, creating and Suzanne after the little ones are in bed, a tidy and clean home, and spurts of quiet with a hot drink in my hand. These are the moments that have kept me... sane? calm? The right word fails me. I have had very low moments since moving to Texas. There is an ache in our hearts for Germany, and yet a simultaneously reassuring and oppressive realization that we are going to be here for a very long time. The only thing I can do is sit, and wait, and rest in the knowledge that no matter how slowly I might acclimate to life in Waco, I will. When our 5 years are up, I'll be sad to leave. I laugh a little when I tell myself this simple truth, but instead of trying to speed up this feeling of home, or focus on my less than happy feelings right now, I've been trying simply to be here and take it slow.

Quiet, creative moments have always been a source of refuge for me. And I find this to be true now, more than ever. It's been hard not being surrounded with the features of Baden-Württemburg. I felt like the world around me was teeming with beauty and calm, and my mind had never been more active. I soaked up the colors of the Schwabian Alb through every season, and memorized every mundane detail around me. My ears were filled with foreign words which I mysteriously understood (mostly), and when my babies spoke, their sweet blue eyes upturned towards mine, I could have mistaken them for little German boys. Their words flowed freely, and their accents were flawless.

Things are so very different here. Is this culture shock? Or something more permanent? I knew that I would miss our lives in Germany, and yet, it's worse than I thought. I don't spend much time trying to sort through these thoughts, knowing that time will fix things or change them. We are here now, and I am thankful for the things we do have here (namely time-zone proximity to our families!). We have been blessed with some sweet and caring friends, and a city that has an amazing museum for our boys to explore weekly, an incredible zoo close by, warm weather that allows for bare feet in the dirt, and the same sweet children and husband that warm me with their smiles and love.

I am thankful for these things, and try to slowly sort through my thoughts on how we can live better, how we can be the Streckers that lived in Germany, even though we're not there anymore. That place changed us, most certainly for the better, and so, we're tip-toeing our way through this faraway land of Texas, and are thankful for simple things like a sunny, albeit strangely green, October.

A bit of our apartment

We had guests over for dinner tonight, so it was a great excuse to attack all those little corners of mess we've had going on for the last week and a half and really get a portion of our apartment looking somewhat finished (the other half... not so much). I know my mom has been itching to see more pictures of our progress, so I give you a very humble and partial home tour! We really love this apartment. The floor plan feels great and spacious, and the floors, walls, and all the little details—even the smell—remind me of my grandma's Florida house that we would visit when we were little. I loved that house, so this apartment, though old, and definitely not my on-paper idea of a perfect apartment feels very nostalgic and homey to me. And isn't the process of taking a blank slate, with all of it's imperfections and oddities, and making the best of a it a really fun thing? I'm not looking for greener grass, I'm happy to take care of the oddly shaped and sort of brown garden plot I've been given.

First Days in Waco, Texas

A week ago today we arrived in Waco, Texas. I am writing this now with the bold assumption that we will actually have internet in our apartment today*, and that I can share a few photos sometime before the clock strikes midnight. I’ve been trying to take advantage of this no-wireless existence so that we could get boxes unpacked, furniture arranged, and walls decorated. I absolutely can’t stand living in an apartment that feels like it is the recent recipient of new residents. I want our place to feel like we’ve been here for years, and that it’s worn in, cared for, and loved. 

The progress has been slow, compounded by the fact that most of our boxes have been in storage for over a year and I have no idea what’s even in them anymore. However, we were so blessed to have Cody’s dad drive down from Ohio with us and stay from Monday through Friday, and without him, this move would have been much harder. He seamlessly fit into our rotation of drivers and helped pass snacks and toys back to the boys when he was off-duty. While he was here, he filled in for Cody doing Lowe’s runs, installed our washer and dryer, contributed an invaluable amount of brain-power towards figuring out how to set up our ancient table that turned out to be missing a crucial piece, was our in-house navigator and googler (because his iPhone reaches beyond the bounds of in-house internet) and played hours upon hours of frisbee outside our apartment in the hot Texas heat. What a champ. We all loved having him with us, but especially the boys. Bruno and Seb were indignant when Papa sat in “Pawpaw’s chair” at dinner the night after he left. And they still ask where Pawpaw’s bed went, and check the back seat of the van to see if Pawpaw’s back there. The only thing that keeps me upbeat about his absence is knowing that he is coming back on October 1st with Mamaw! Until then, we have this apartment to work on and Waco to get acquainted with.

Celebrating Pawpaw's birthday at Uncle Dan's Barbeque joint.

So far, most of my Waco “adventures” include going to the local H.E.B. for groceries, one Target run, getting lost a few times, and, my favorite, a walk with Sebastian to Barefoot, a campus outfitters store with the most gorgeous Baylor University shirt designs of all time. Seriously, your babies might be getting BU gear because I’ve never seen such cute onesies in all my life. After we were finished there (we purchased two BU hats for Seb and Bruno) we stopped and bought a blue snow cone from elementary aged boys selling them to raise money for their college fund. Seeing boys that age selling and serving food of any kind is probably one of the most hilarious and endearing experiences that exists.

So we’re settling in. Cody loves his classes, and the people he is working with. We’re enjoying having a home again (one that includes more than the content of 4 suitcases), and relishing the fact that we are on relatively the same time zone as all our friends and family. I’m pretty sure I called my mom 5 times in one day to mostly ask about a single recipe. This must mean we’re living the good life. 

I asked for a first day of school picture, and these are what he gave me. Kindergarten or PhD program?

Someday soon, I hope, I’ll get to posting our last pictures of Germany, and thoughts about it. Until then, I’ll just say that we feel a little bit lost without her, and long for the reassurance of seeing German on all the signs and food packaging (oddly something that made living in Germany somewhat uncomfortable) the predictability of Seb going to Kindy with his friends (whom he talks about daily), and walking to all our familiar places. It’s a somewhat precarious and challenging spot, this straddling of two worlds and languages. But we’re up for the challenge.

Here’s to this next adventure, because it will be just that.

*I wrote this on Monday, but as it turns out, wifi was not in the cards for us until today.

28/52

Joining Jodi's 52 Project with "A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Sebastian | Always hiding

Bruno | Lover-boy

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Joining Jodi's 52 Project with "A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Sebastian | Sebastian's kindergarten had a summer party a couple weekends ago. The weather was rainy and a bit chilly, perfectly telling of the unreliable temps throughout Germany. It's hard to believe that the below photo of Bruno was taken the same week!

Bruno | Swimming at the Reutlingen Freibad. Regrettably the one time we were able to visit, but we thoroughly enjoyed it, and Bruno's fear of water has started to dissipate.

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"Joining Jodi's 52 Project with "A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014."

Sebastian | My big boy stayed home with Papa for a weekend while Mama and Bruno went to visit friends in Frankfurt. They spent their first day together going to a nearby cave. Sebastian still talks about it. What a grand adventure with Papa.

Bruno | After we spent a couple nights with the Johnson's, we met my mom and little brother at the Frankfurt airport. Clearly Bruno was in paradise with Noni again.