German play

If you’re like me, at one time or another you have been completely charmed by Waldorf play. In fact, Sebastian was this close to going to a Waldorf school here in Germany. For reasons I won’t go into here, we decided the week before he was to start that we didn’t want him to go there. It was a mix of disappointment and relief for me.

In the end, I was excited about the Evangelische Kindergarten that he was to go to, but couldn’t shake some sad feelings about how he wasn’t going to have access to the play things available at the Waldorf school that I felt would so perfectly nurture his imagination. Oh the atmosphere! The windows! The warmth and simplicity of that place was unmatched, and I wanted that kind of surrounding for my little man. But from day 1, Sebastian has loved the Evangelische Kindergarten. He frequently refers to his teacher as, “The nicest teacher,” and just yesterday, Cody realized that when Seb sings the ABC’s in German, he replaces the end of the alphabet with her name, because the sounds are similar. Awesome, I tell you. 

As for the atmosphere at the Kindergarten, there are bursts of primary colors throughout, and it’s always a bit kid-chaotic, if I may coin a term. But you know what, I am really glad for those things. Kids love color, and kids, when they’re free to play, are going to get loud and messy and talkative. I am so thankful that God redirected our steps to Seb’s Kindergarten, and was from the onset pleasantly surprised by the ways in which this Kindergarten seemed to mimic Waldorf schools in a few ways. 

I’ve finally lived in Germany long enough to start picking up on some of the subtleties of this place. I have enough context now to know that, oh, German families have and love Playmobil. It is to Germany what the Fisher Price Little People are to the U.S. Germans also love mobiles. Go into any classroom, kindergarten, or child’s room and you will find at least one, if not 5+ mobiles hanging from the ceiling, and most made out of wood. (And here I thought mobiles were reserved for those extra fancy nurseries belonging to people with a substantial disposable income!) Similarly, the windows are smattered with bright pops of homemade paper decorations. Currently, in the season of Advent, nearly every window we pass is sporting one or more Fenstersterne, and the windows of every Kindergarten are lined with a row of black paper houses with colorful tissue paper windows. Within the walls of a Kindergarten or home, the differences are subtle, but there all the same. Mostly the amount of crafting supplies abounds. Germans do not kid when it comes to their crafting. For example, the parents at Seb's kindergarten unanimously agreed to make Christmas gifts together for the children. Half of us painted mugs, and the other half made beaded star ornaments. I ask you, have I moved to the coolest land ever?

After I mulled some of these thoughts around for a little while, it hit me like a facepalm that, duh, Waldorf schools aren’t this crazy unique thing not found anywhere else... they’re GERMAN! Felt, wood—natural, simple play—it’s so very German. Your average Kindergarten in the U.S. won’t look very Waldorf, it will look American. But your average Kindergarten in Germany will look very Waldorf, because Waldorf is very German. And suddenly so many things fell into place for me. Seb’s Kindergarten isn’t mimicking the Waldorf style, it is simply a German kindergarten, and that means, much to my delight, they have felt playmats, a plethora of wooden figures and animals, and play scenes with natural fibers made to look like moss-covered hills, all perfectly suited for nurturing a little imagination. 

I find the play atmosphere for children here to be so soothing, and refreshing. Perhaps it reminds me a bit of my childhood. I remember my siblings and I frequently telling our mom, without any advanced warning, that we wanted to do a craft. And just like that, we had a craft. I’m still amazed at that. Some of my other fond memories of play as a child involve pretend play with old pots and pans, pinecones and mud, and playing with my friend’s vast supply of Playmobil.

Zum Schluss, here are a few things that we will be slowly working into our “playmosphere” in the coming months and years.

Playmobil. Playmobil 1-2-3 is great for the littlest ones. We recently bought a nativity set for half price, and Bruno has especially enjoyed playing with it (He is a dollhouse/baby playing kind of a man if I ever saw one). It’s a great option if you want something well-suited to imaginative play, but without the pricetag of so many wooden playthings. I think it’s a great alternative to some of the other plastic toys that look unnatural. Playmobil does great with details. For example, a playmobil horse will have texture and depth, like it was made from a recycled milk jug.

DUPLO. I swore by DUPLO in my pre-Germany days, and I stand by it. I think Germans are with me on this one. We actually brought the entirety of our DUPLO collection with us to Germany! (LEGOS for the older kiddos, of course).

Ostheimer. I have no illusions that our entire play collection will be made up of wooden toys, nor do I believe that a toy is inherently good because it is wood. However, Ostheimer is special, and in my mind, there will always be a place for wooden animals and people. Just as it’s important for children to have many different tactile experiences, I think it’s important to have a variety of figures that don’t necessarily “match.” It’s amazing to see a child create a story out of mismatched bits and bobs.

Mobiles. I don’t plan to go crazy or anything, but I did buy one, just so I can feel more German. Wooden mobiles are a lot less expensive here!

Paper-crafts. This has already begun to transform our home life in a big way. After having a major case of the blues because of my inability to ever be prepared for advent, I committed to sitting down for a while and doing a little search for some interesting—but doable in an advent-has-already-started kind of a way—projects. I came across this one, from The Little Red House. I walked to the city the next day to get the things I needed, and put our little advent calendar together that night. I felt so great about an advent calendar that would give us activities to engage in, and time to be creative and work on something together, instead of one that would lead us on a 25 day adventure of 2-minute chocolate binges. I wanted our advent calendar to reflect the joy in anticipation, in giving, and in creating. Although when I tell Seb that we’ll open another envelope tomorrow, he inevitably asks, “And then will it be Christmas??” So yes, crafting. Game changer for me.

Felt playmats. These are the coolest, and quite simply, I wish every child had one. So many possibilities, and so fun to make. You can see a picture of the one I made below. Next time I will try a simple design with grass, a small body of water, and a dirt path.

Finger puppets. It seems that at every art or Christmas market I’ve been to, there are always little hand knit finger puppets for sale. I always thought they were the cutest, but wasn’t sure if my boys would find them interesting. While I was in Munich a couple weeks ago, I found the most perfect little finger puppets. I mean, perfect. It took some restraint to only buy two, and to my pleasant surprise, Seb and Bruno love them both. Now I wish I hadn’t used so much restraint!

The great outdoors. If you’ve got this one, you’ve got it all. Living in Germany has transformed the way I relate to the outdoors. Of course, the cold weather always makes it hard, but being outside is just so important for kids, even the littlest ones.

Seb | Not Neverland, and that's just fine

After KiGa, Seb can usually be found unwinding with a good book.

Seb is growing cuter and cuter every day. It turns out that having a “kid” as opposed to a forever-baby like our mama hearts always want, is way cool. I am not going to say that there aren’t those moments when I want so badly to have him back as that tiny little 6 lb. newborn, or get those chubby cheeks and that toddling stage again, just for a few minutes, but reality is that we grow and change and learn. And that’s a really good thing. It makes my heart swell watching Sebastian figure out this wonderful, exciting, and even hurtful world we live in.

Seb’s vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds, and his poor little head must be so tired! He’s not only learning English vocabulary, but German vocabulary, and soaking it all up like a dry sponge. At home and away he is constantly hearing words and phrases in German, and his comprehension of this language is astounding after such a short period of time.

When Sebastian wants Bruno to stop doing something, he can be heard saying, “Ohhhh nein!” instead of “Oh no.” He sometimes gets a little distressed for a moment and says, “But I don’t know how to say, ‘I’m sorry’ in German!” And other times, for no apparent reason, he pops his curious little head up from what he’s doing and says, “How do you say car in German?”. He knows several German songs, can count to 10 (and does so frequently), and has a few catchphrases that he thinks are funny like, “Was ist das?!” (what is that?!), and “Du bist schnell!” (you are fast!). He knows greetings and goodbyes, and when I take him to KiGa in the morning, he cheerily greets every person he sees, near and far, with a “Guten Morgen!”

And lest we forget about Bruno, he says “Tschuss” instead of “Bye,” and is newly obsessed with Bob der Baumeister (Bob the Builder) and with an excited squeal says, “BAHHB... BAHHB.” Oh my little multicultural babes.

Now where was I? That was quite a bunny trail. I was talking about how awesome it is to have a little kid. Seb has grown so thoughtful and grown up. I really have to be quite careful because it’s so easy to put too much responsibility on him because he seems so much older than three and a half. Just tonight, I was putting some clean dishes away, and as I tried to finagle a pan up onto a high shelf, one of the metal lids fell with a bang to the floor. I finished placing the pan where I needed it to go, but before I was done, Sebastian came running over, picked up the lid and said, “Here you go, Mommy!”. Seb notices everything. This means that he asks approximately 1,000,000,000,000 questions everyday, and is easily distressed (both of which can be hard to deal with), but this also means that he takes care of us. When Bruno is getting his diaper changed—not his favorite activity—Seb frequently trots along behind and says, “I’m going to make Bruno happy!”, and is often seen running around trying to find a good toy for Bruno to play with.

I love this sweet little kid of ours, and tell him every day that he is my sunshine. He is learning to be proud of what he does, developing his own sense of style (however much I don’t like suspenders and sweatpants as an outfit!), and even takes time to compliment me when something in our home looks nice with a, “Oh that’s great!” or “Thanks for doing that, mom!”. He likes to be in on the conversation and says, “Mom, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” when Cody and I are talking at the table. 

He thinks marshmallows are a “cozy” food.

He is curious and thoughtful, sensitive, and resilient. I couldn’t be happier to have this little man in our lives, and am so acutely aware of how privileged I am to be his mama that it hurts just a little bit.

And just because I love this picture... Seb watching Micky Maus Wunderhaus (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse). Now suspenders and JEANS is a look I can support 100%. Also, I've given up on matching socks.

St. Martin's Day and the Laternelaufen

Growing up, Halloween was never really a holiday that we observed. We lived in the country, with few other houses, so it couldn’t really be a neighborhood thing (somehow trick-or-treating with a car isn’t quite as thrilling), and so we would only occasionally dress up if we had an event to attend. And honestly, I’ve kind of taken that approach with our children so far. Partially because in the last few years they haven’t been old enough to enjoy it, and so I haven’t bothered. 

These facts made it all the more surprising to me when this year, nestled in this cozy, but admittedly halloween-less land, I really missed the festivities! I didn’t miss the tacky or gory decorations, but I missed seeing and savoring pumpkins on every stoop, and the candy corn, caramel corn, hot apple cider (essentially, the food), corn mazes, and hay rides. I think I counted a total of 4 carved pumpkins displayed outside various homes, and no costumes whatsoever! 

Halloween just isn’t a thing here.

But then, just when it seemed like this lovely autumn season was going to go by without any festivities, Laternelaufen happened. St. Martin’s Day is on November 11th, but Sebastian’s KiGa (Kindergarten) celebrated early with a Laternalaufen—literally “lantern walk”—on Tuesday evening.

No one knows exactly why this tradition is attached to St. Martin’s Day, but presumably it has to do with bringing light into the world through love and selfless giving to ones neighbor. St. Martin, a soldier, is remembered first for having given half his soldiers coat to a beggar in danger of freezing to death.

At first I thought this tradition was little observed in Germany, but I am quickly realizing that families, and communities, observe St. Martin’s Day with a fervor akin to our American Halloween. A holiday that brings a community together, lighting the way in a darkened world, and stopping along the way to sing about it? Now that’s a holiday I can get excited about! The children carry colorful lanterns with endless variations. Some homemade, some store bought, but all charming and vibrant.

Thanks, Germany, for restoring my faith in your holiday observances. I can’t wait to see what you do with Christmas!

Experiemnting with the settings on my camera on the way to the Laternelaufen. What a cute test subject, no?

Taking it all in just before the Laternelaufen began.

This little goof saw me trying to take a picture and started kicking up his heels.

The gift of company + the Wilhelma Zoo, Stuttgart, Germany

Early this morning, we willed ourselves out of bed, got dressed, ate breakfast (or in my case, imbibed coffee), and walked to the train station with our neighbors. The K family have a small son, perfectly sandwiched in age between Seb and Bruno, and have been quite possibly God's greatest gift to us here in Germany. Ben speaks a little English, just enough to help us as we bumble our way through learning German, and Caro speaks even less. She is so patient, and kind, and truly hardly notices our lack of communication skills, which constantly amazes us, and she has this completely sweet and endearing curiosity about America. What an angel she is to us! Leave it to Caro to be an encouragement when we're feeling like grasping the German language is a complete impossibility. God really does know better than us what we need, and the push that will get us out the door on tired days. He gave us this family who constantly invites us to do just about everything with them, including eating breakfast or afternoon snacks and coffee with them, exploring parts of our city, and today, taking in the sights of other cities nearby. It feels like college again, with this sweet gift of a family just down the hall, dorm style. (Sometimes, I even refer to Caro as my German Megan, which is saying a lot).

And so, true to their generous way, they invited us to visit the Wilhelma Zoo in Stuttgart with them. It was a chilly, cloudy day, but we bundled up (the boys wore tights under their pants), and embraced the adventure. The train ride was pleasant, and passed quickly due to the congenial company in our midst.

Upon arriving at the zoo, first opened as a botanical garden in 1919, I was immediately struck by the architecture, which I later learned is called Moorish Revival style (making a note to learn more about it). It was stunning and exotic, and perfectly arranged, allowing us some incredible views of the animals. We are already eager to visit again and explore the enormous, intricate greenhouse, see the kangaroos, and naturally, visit the monkeys again, definitely the biggest hit. (I can’t get these guys to quit imitating monkey screeches!)

On the way home, Bruno and David fell asleep, and the adults engaged in the most enjoyable conversation about the nuances of the German and English languages, as well as pop culture in Germany and America, which naturally included reality TV and TV series. It all ended with the men realizing, marked by jubilant laughter and dude high fives and the like, their common love of the Die Hard movies.

Goodness, so much love.

These are the faces of 3 guys that really like monkeys.

Photo by Seb 

Photo by Seb 

To have an imposing life

The following photos taken at the Bruderhaus Diakonie (link to the website in English), and the surrounding area. It was a place we loved and will go back to visit many times.

Living in Germany has caused me to ponder what life will be like when we aren’t living here any more. Cody always scolds me when I get all Debbie-downer about all the conveniences we now enjoy that we will undoubtedly, sometime at the end of next July, have to live without. It should be noted that when I talk about the conveniences here, I am mostly talking about how accessible everything is by foot. I get no small thrill out of being able to walk to bookstores, coffee shops, specialty grocery stores, regular grocery stores, H&M, the bank, farmers markets, the hospital, doctors offices, and giant fields with open views of the city within 30 minutes of time. And so, when I’m being extra vigilant about my mood and attempting to think positively about our situation now and in the future, whatever and wherever that may be, I ask myself what I want to learn about living here that I can carry with me back to the U.S. As I continue to read through Gretchen Rubin’s thrilling book, Happier at Home, I was pleased to find this quote by Gertrude Stein, which perfectly encompasses my thoughts and feelings at the moment:

“Anything one does every day is important and imposing and anywhere one lives is interesting and beautiful.”

Our current lifestyle certainly seems cause for envy, and undoubtedly, we are experiencing no smal amount of excitement and adventure as we live in a new culture and speak a different language. But I am also reminded that, to many, there is nothing new and special or all that exciting about living here. I am sure some people here yearn for wide open streets like that ones that made my jaw drop when Cody and I were honeymooning in Salt Lake City, Utah, or new buildings that were a bit more handicap accessible or had better plumbing, or maybe a house of ones own. Whatever the case may be, I am certain that it's the skill of looking upon my home and my work with a fresh glance and an inquisitive attitude that will make it feel important, imposing, interesting, and beautiful, and not the specifics of where I am or what I am doing.

Seb goes to Kindergarten in Germany

Sebastian has started Kindergarten! Before you panic, it’s actually preschool (he didn’t magically age two years overnight). I think I mentioned in my last post, but am obviously too lazy to go back to check, that Kindergarten in Germany is the term used to encompass ages 3+ until 1st grade. It’s optional until age 5, I think, (which is U.S. kindergarten age, right?) and the schools here are very flexible. There seems to be a general understanding that because this is optional, bring your kid when you want and when it works best. You’re doing it for the child, not for us, or for the system. Sebastian’s kindergarten is open 5 mornings each week, but he’ll only be going 2 to 3 of those.

We chose to send him to the Evangelische Kindergarten, which is the branch of protestant schools. There are also Catholic, state, and Waldorf kindergartens very nearby. Our decision to send him to this particular one is largely based on recommendations we received from other parents, the fact that they miraculously had a spot available, and it’s extremely close proximity to our apartment—3 minutes! 

Cody took Seb again this morning, and he wanted to show Cody some of the things he likes to play with. They went in and Seb saw one of his teachers, and said, “That teacher is the nicest.” She is one of those people that you know just by looking at her that she must be incredibly sweet and kind. Seb also got to feed the fish this morning, and Cody assured me that the teachers were making an obvious effort to engage the other children into play with Sebastian.

This morning I was able to put words to something that I had been feeling for a while. I am glad that Sebastian is going to Kindergarten because we simply don’t have the space or money to be able to make our home the kind of place that I feel it should be for our young children. Now I am not saying we have a terrible home environment, and no good toys, or that it’s bad for our children to be here (I’m so glad they’re here!), but that I want our home to have things and an arrangement that nurture creativity, inspire movement, and foster independence. Right now, Kindergarten can provide a bit of that for Sebastian in a way that I can’t, or at least don't know how, and I’m happy for that opportunity for him. He is thriving from the special kind of independence of going away on his own for a few hours, and this morning, right after he asked if he could go to Kindergarten “right now,” he asked if he could put on his new big boy watch—a gift from us so he could be just like Daddy going to school. (Plus, can you imagine him as teenager saying, “Mom. Dad. I can’t believe we lived in Germany for a year and you didn’t send me to Kindergarten so I could learn German!!! I COULD know German right now!!!” Yea, I would like to avoid that scenario, but imagining it helps me gain some perspective when I get sad about my little baby leaving me for a bit.)

This is not every day, and this is not permanent, but right now, this works, and I think it’s where God has placed us and Sebastian. I am still very interested in homeschooling our children someday, and want to look carefully into future school/education options, but what I’ve been realizing is that I need to focus on what “home” is and means for our family before I get swept away by the inevitably overwhelming school years. I can’t consider homeschooling our children until I have a better understand of home, and a confidence in ours. All orchestrated by divine providence, I’m sure, I just started reading Happier at Home, by Gretchen Rubin, and can hardly put it down. I’m only one chapter in and I feel so inspired and have started filling my brain with new ideas of how to make this home thing work better for all of us.

I would also like to request recommendations for any home-related books that you’ve found particularly inspiring and helpful. And for all of you early-education peeps out there, I am realizing that I want our home to be a kind of kindergarten, as strange as that may sound. But I need songs, activities, and ideally, books about songs activities, schedules, rhythms, you name it. I’ll be forever indebted to you!

P.S. You can see a few more photos of Seb's first day of Kindergarten here and here.

Small adventures

Likely when you think of living anywhere in Europe, you immediately imagine your impossibly stylish self walking through a city built in 1342, now lined with street cafes, and markets filled with flowers and fruit, fresh bread and stinky cheese, all neatly wrapped and ready to take home to your perfect little scandinavian style flat that over looks some very lovely, yet humble, river. 

Oh you don’t think all that? Well I do, and actually living in Germany has proven to be, or have, most of those things. 

The part where my imagination parts from reality, is the way I live and interact with this old, colorful, and beautiful country filled with street cafes, markets, rivers, etc. etc. As a 26-year-old with two small children, my dependable hot spots are the park, the library, the bookstore with a train table, and the grocery store (because, you know, I must feed those little mouths as well as keep them entertained). I pass cafe after cafe, market after market. Yellow roses call out to me as I see old ladies with their baskets filled with fragrant bunches. And the cafes seem to taunt me a little, filled with other 26-year-olds, drinking their espresso and reading a book, quietly, stylishly (as I’m being snotted upon yet again) and I can’t help but feel a little stuck in this strange place of responsibility and inability. 

I know this is starting to sound like the same whiney story you’ve heard on a million other blogs, so I”ll cut to the chase. My point in saying all this is simply that, yes, life is hard sometimes—nothing new here. We all have this idea of what life would ideally be for us, and we spend more time than we would care to divulge in making that ideal a reality (or at least a perceived reality, right?). We take artsy pictures—being careful to clear the crumbs and broken crayons out of the way before the shutter closes—and we are all curators of our homes, our wardrobes, and our meals. Not all of this is bad. I take a lot of joy in picking colors for our home and styles for our clothes. I like arranging our shelves and wiping our table down after every meal not only so it can be enjoyed at a moments notice, but so we have a pleasing environment to live in. This kind of curating is simply a matter of taste, of preference, and certainly not a bad thing.

However, living in Germany is teaching me to let go of my impulse to curate my daily experiences to serve some selfish, unrealistic glamorous european fantasy. I don’t need to travel to the big cities of Germany, or drink exotic coffee and have a home filled with fresh flowers to truly enjoy living here. I am living here, isn’t that enough? Isn’t it okay for my days to be filled with ordinary excursions to the park? 

On Monday, Cody needed to do a couple last things to finally get enrolled at Tübingen University, so we decided to make it a family excursion. The day was not without some frustration, and sweat and tears, and it most certainly wasn’t filled with leisurely beer drinking and wurst eating. But it was one of our best days in Germany to date, and I think mostly for the reason that we didn’t try to make it an experience, we simply enjoyed the experience that it was, the views around each corner, the constant conversing in German, and the killer playground we found. 

And so, each day I return to our undecorated apartment and ugly blue couch, with two dirty, happy, worn out kids, and I have to ask myself, what was so appealing about that empty, quiet cafe, anyway?

Disclaimer: Sometimes I do drink coffee at cool cafes, and sometimes we do other cool European stuff, too. Just not allllllllll the time.