The Nightstand, VOLUME FOUR

Lest you think my neglect of The Nightstand posts means I just don't read anymore, I promise you that I still read, and offer these titles to you as proof: My Man Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse (I'm read the next one now), and for the mama's: Fit to Burst by Rachel Jankovic.

So those are my grown up recommendations for grown ups, but here are my grown up recommendations for kids. It always surprises me when we get a book from the library that is gosh darn awful, like this one, which only serve to encourage disobedience and unattractive behavior. I'm all about nurturing creativity and imagination, but not at the expense of my child's development. But I guess those books serve to enhance my excitement when we stumble on the gems of children's literature.

A few of our favorites these last 2 weeks are Terrific and Nothing, by Jon Agee (I love this man!!!), and White Snow, Bright Snow by Alivin Tresselt. With each of these, I found myself surprised at how they captured Seb's imagination. He loves them, and asks to read them over and over. At one point in White Snow, Bright snow, he tries to push the piles of snow off the fence in one of the illustrations. He says, "I can't push it off!" After lots of kisses because it was so darn cute, I explained to him that's it's just a picture, but that's it's fun to pretend that we can push it off. What is it about snow?

I would recommend these books for the 2+ age range. Any favorites in your house, recently? Do share, my friends!

P.S. How did I forget?! I'm also loving The Critter Books by Mercer Mayer.

The Nightstand | VOLUME THREE

Who am I kidding? All I can be credited for reading lately are blogs and kids books. And since I'm pretty sure the best analogy for my life right now is a circus, here is one of my newest favorite books: Ella by Bill Peet.

A good read, to be sure.

It's all about a spoiled circus elephant named Ella, who decides that she is too much of a star to be a part of the circus, and so hides while everyone boards the train and leaves. Well this turned out to be a very bad idea, as you can well imagine, so she attempts to chase down the train. Her plan fails and she finds herself on the farm of one grumpy old farmer named Lucifer Kirk. He works the spoil out of her, and she learns that working hard is really a very good thing, especially when you're doing it for those you love. It's full of fun farm animals, crazy attempted escapes, a good moral, and a big top. What more could you ask for? Rhyming text, you say? Charming illustrations? This is the book for you, er, your little one, I mean.

The Nightstand, VOLUME TWO

My nursing/reading spot, already well used and well-loved. And Cody has since set up a reading lamp for me!

I finished reading Babies, Breastfeeding, and Bonding, by Ina May Gaskin, and wanted to share my thoughts on the book, as promised. This started out as my favorite book on breastfeeding. I really appreciated that Gaskin wasn’t writing about breastfeeding from the angle of a specific method, but was clearly sharing what, in her experience, works and doesn’t work, as well as challenges a nursing mother can or will face, and ways to overcome them.

Gaskin makes the point that it is traditional for children in non-industrialized countries to be breastfed from birth up to seven years, and rightly so because of a lack of alternative good nutrient sources. I’ve heard many in the U.S. argue, as I’m sure you have, that extended breastfeeding of this kind should be the case for American women and their infants, as well. To my surprise, Gaskin stated that although extended breastfeeding is the norm in other cultures, it need not be the norm in the United States. We have such easy access to all the nutrients we need that our babies need not be dependent on breast milk for nearly as long as other children who have very limited access to nutritious food. She still maintained that a child should be breastfed for no less than one year, and I doubt would be against extended breastfeeding, but it was refreshing to hear her take such an approach to the topic of extended breastfeeding. Lining up well with Gaskin’s statement, most sources that I have read seem to point almost exclusively to extended breastfeeding as a means of continued bonding and closeness with ones child, and that it is nutritionally unnecessary after 2 years.

Once one gets past the great practical advice in the first half of the book, Gaskin’s work starts to show it’s age. Many of the topics she talks about are worthy of time and discussion, but she spends much of these chapters sharing quotes from people whom she had surveyed who were born in the 40’s and 50’s. These opinions and anecdotes are interesting, but tell me nothing about the way our generation views breastfeeding, or how one ought to view it today and always. There is most assuredly nothing of a timeless nature in the latter half of this book. 

One of the reasons I had been eager to read Babies, Breastfeeding, and Bonding, was to gain further insight into the appropriateness of public breastfeeding, further developing my thoughts on the matter, and to understand how some seem to be able to at least pretend that there is nothing sexual about breasts. All that Gaskin really did to shed any light on these subjects was share what others, again, born in the 40’s and 50’s had to say. She, and others, argued that there is simply nothing sexual, or at least nothing inappropriate about bare breasts, particularly when they are exposed for the sole purpose of feeding a baby. I agree that breasts have an incredible functional purpose, one that I thank God for, but I can’t help but be aware of their sexual nature as well. Perhaps it would be more convenient if they weren’t viewed that way, but in 21st century America they are. Although I am in full support of discreet public breastfeeding (and this doesn’t necessitate a cover!), it seems futile to me to pretend, as it seems many would like to, that there is nothing sexual about breasts. My thoughts, which are still forming, is that breastfeeding in public should be just as accepted as bottle feeding in public. When there is no exhibition, but simply a mother providing nourishment to her child, it is something that should be praised by all. 

It was good to read this book, and though the latter half was not what I had hoped it would be, it still enabled me to think through a few aspects of breastfeeding, and form my own opinions a little more concretely. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

P.S. I’ve heard from friends that when they had their second baby, they tended to shed the cover more when they were in public, because they had gotten good at being discreet without it. I’m interested to see what it looks like for me to breastfeed this second little babe of mine. DId you go without a cover more with your second?

And in case you missed it... The Nightstand, VOLUME ONE.

The Nightstand, VOLUME ONE

I’d like to start sharing with you, with some regularity, the books that I’m reading. I won’t promise that what I write will be actual book reviews, or anything terribly inspirational, but I’ve been loving what I’ve been reading, and it seems a shame to not at least mention some things I’ve learned and thoughts that have arisen from the pages I’ve read. I would love for this to be a place for you to share about what you’ve read as well, or if you’ve blogged about the pile on your nightstand, drop me the link so I can check it out.

If you’ve been following my sidebar, you’ll see that I’ve been a little heavy on the birth/child rearing books. I’ve never in my life enjoyed this type of book before, but I’ve been soaking up all the information I can get my hands on in preparation for this baby. After he’s born, I think I’ll lighten up on them, though, and get into some good novels. I do love novels, and miss them. Captains Courageous will eventually be completed, but I feel like I’m in a race against time to learn what I need to about breastfeeding and birth. So Captain, you’ll have to wait a bit longer, I’m afraid. Then I think I might pick up some Austen or Helprin to celebrate the birth of my little one.

Now to the books, shall we? First off, I would highly recommend all the birth/parenting/breastfeeding ones I’ve read so far. Some I don’t agree with entirely, but they’ve opened up new thoughts about birth and breastfeeding and pregnancy. Creating with God: The Holy Confusing Blessedness of Pregnancy, helped me to have a deeper appreciation for what my body is doing in making a little child, and Energetic Pregnancy was invaluable in helping me understand how ones personality can positively and negatively affect ones approach to pregnancy and birth, and gives one tools to harness ones talents and overcome ones struggles.

The Birth Book was recommended to me by a friend who had a very positive birth experience with her son, and said this book helped her be very prepared. I had been wanting to read it for a while, but was never able to get my hands on a copy until a few months ago. I felt that it took a very balanced and common-sense approach to birth, and was extremely insightful. This is definitely my favorite general book on birth and worth reading, even if you’ve already had a baby.

My most recent read, and one that has sparked a lot of questions in my mind, was The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I think I can safely say that this book has been both the most challenging and insightful for me as I prepare to start breastfeeding again. And to think I almost didn’t read it! I really thought, “Hey! I nursed Sebastian for a whole year. I don’t really need to read a book about it.” Boy was I wrong. In reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, I was able to identify at least a dozen things I did wrong that led to the struggles I had while breastfeeding Seb. It was difficult not to feel bad about things I should have done better with Seb, and for that reason, I think it would be especially difficult for a mother to read who had wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t. I didn’t feel that the book was unjust towards mother’s who haven’t breastfed, but they clearly lay out (about a million times) how much better breast milk is for your baby, and when you keep hearing that over and over again, it would be difficult not to feel bad about bottle feeding, even if it wasn’t by choice. As mothers, we want the best for our children, and even though I was blessed to nurse Sebastian for a year, I finished the book feeling bad that I hadn’t nursed him for two! But maybe that is just me. Regardless, the book brought up a lot of questions in my mind about my approach to breastfeeding, specifically in regards to frequency (On demand? For comfort? Scheduled?). For this reason, I picked up a copy at the birthing center today of Ina May Gaskin’s book, Babies, Breastfeeding, and Bonding, in hopes that I will learn more about the on demand breastfeeding approach and be able to make a more educated decision about what is right for my family. I feel like I know the arguments for weaning early and having a set schedule, but I’m not very familiar with the other ones that attachment parenting recommends. I hope to give you some more thoughts on the subject when I finish Gaskin’s book. Here's a quote from the introduction, in case you're interested: "My purpose is to empower women so that they have a real choice about whether or not to breastfeed. You may choose to breastfeed without knowing enough to have a good chance at succeeding, and that, to my mind, seems only a very limited 'choice.'" I say "amen" to that.  So while I uncover what Gaskin has to say about breastfeeding, I’d love to hear if there was a specific book on the subject that was particularly helpful to you or even just what your approach to/method of breastfeeding is (or was!).

So much to think about, but don’t you just love books? Now it's your turn. Go!


P.S. Some interesting articles regarding breastfeeding, childbirth, and attachment parenting (1/2/3) posted on Marvelous Kiddo today.