Mama | Two things on birth

Leigh at Marvelous Kiddo shared both of these links today and I wanted to pass them along. One is about the last days of pregnancy and the other is for a site called visualizing birth. The thing that I found via the last link, which really struck me and that I want to share (warning: for the daring!), is this video of a French woman giving birth. She is astoundingly calm and joyful, powering through as her baby crowns and as she continues to push the rest of her baby out. It is a graphic video, so don't watch it if that bothers you, but I found it really refreshing and astounding to see someone remain calm and allow her body to open up and birth her baby. We are so bombarded with images of women struggling and fighting in labor, screaming in pain and misery, and although it probably rarely looks the way this French woman makes it look, birth can be different, and I like that this video shows you that. I hope you find these links helpful as I did!

Mama | Blessings abound

I can't express how supported and encouraged I've felt during this pregnancy, especially as it nears an end. Our Durham friends specifically have gone above and beyond what we could have ever hoped for not only in prayers and encouragement, but in blessing us with thoughtful gifts, parties and brunches. Just this morning the ladies in my bible study planned a sweet brunch during our study, and completely surprised me with a gift certificate for a massage (!!!) and the exact Aden & Anais blanket I had been wanting! (Many thanks to Elisabeth for doing the legwork on this one!) Even without these gifts, these women have already overwhelmed me with the ways in which they've blessed me. I have no doubt that it is because of their prayers, and the prayers of our family and other friends, that I feel so great about this pregnancy and upcoming birth. I have no fears or worries left, and am just waiting eagerly to meet our beautiful little boy. I say this because I want to emphasize the way God can show his blessings to us even without financial or material gifts, but sometimes we get those, too.  I am so thankful for these ladies and the way they have sought to cover us with prayers and blessings of all kinds.

If you are pregnant and feeling overwhelmed by money stress or are saddened that you can't afford that perfect little blanket or sweet pair of booties, be encouraged. The reality is, you may not get those things, but seek out the prayers and encouragement of friends. I can't tell you how much those types of spiritual gifts and support can bolster you in the difficult times of pregnancy and during new motherhood. I have learned that it is in those things that we see most the hand of God at work.

Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention how amazingly blessed Cody, Sebastian, and I were to have Cody's parents stay with us for 10 days! Cody was only here for a bit of it, as you know, but he felt at ease being away, knowing that his parents were here to help take care of things, especially if little man made his arrival while he was away. Thankfully, baby waited, but we were still so blessed by Cody's parents' presence. Seb developed something akin to an obsession with his Pawpaw, which was so sweet to see, and I'm glad for that time if for no other reason than it gave Seb a chance to bond with two of his grandparents. So thank you, Mom and Dad Strecker for giving Seb a bike, teaching him to ride it, taking him to the pool, on walks and to the park, and for letting me nap at all hours of the day, for cleaning and cooking, for buying groceries and filling the car up with gas, and being a calming and loving presence for us while Cody was away.

Much love to you all, and many thanks to our friends and family. We can't wait to introduce our dear little boy to those who already love him dearly and pray for him daily. I am so glad we have such an incredible "village" to raise our children.

The Nightstand, VOLUME TWO

My nursing/reading spot, already well used and well-loved. And Cody has since set up a reading lamp for me!

I finished reading Babies, Breastfeeding, and Bonding, by Ina May Gaskin, and wanted to share my thoughts on the book, as promised. This started out as my favorite book on breastfeeding. I really appreciated that Gaskin wasn’t writing about breastfeeding from the angle of a specific method, but was clearly sharing what, in her experience, works and doesn’t work, as well as challenges a nursing mother can or will face, and ways to overcome them.

Gaskin makes the point that it is traditional for children in non-industrialized countries to be breastfed from birth up to seven years, and rightly so because of a lack of alternative good nutrient sources. I’ve heard many in the U.S. argue, as I’m sure you have, that extended breastfeeding of this kind should be the case for American women and their infants, as well. To my surprise, Gaskin stated that although extended breastfeeding is the norm in other cultures, it need not be the norm in the United States. We have such easy access to all the nutrients we need that our babies need not be dependent on breast milk for nearly as long as other children who have very limited access to nutritious food. She still maintained that a child should be breastfed for no less than one year, and I doubt would be against extended breastfeeding, but it was refreshing to hear her take such an approach to the topic of extended breastfeeding. Lining up well with Gaskin’s statement, most sources that I have read seem to point almost exclusively to extended breastfeeding as a means of continued bonding and closeness with ones child, and that it is nutritionally unnecessary after 2 years.

Once one gets past the great practical advice in the first half of the book, Gaskin’s work starts to show it’s age. Many of the topics she talks about are worthy of time and discussion, but she spends much of these chapters sharing quotes from people whom she had surveyed who were born in the 40’s and 50’s. These opinions and anecdotes are interesting, but tell me nothing about the way our generation views breastfeeding, or how one ought to view it today and always. There is most assuredly nothing of a timeless nature in the latter half of this book. 

One of the reasons I had been eager to read Babies, Breastfeeding, and Bonding, was to gain further insight into the appropriateness of public breastfeeding, further developing my thoughts on the matter, and to understand how some seem to be able to at least pretend that there is nothing sexual about breasts. All that Gaskin really did to shed any light on these subjects was share what others, again, born in the 40’s and 50’s had to say. She, and others, argued that there is simply nothing sexual, or at least nothing inappropriate about bare breasts, particularly when they are exposed for the sole purpose of feeding a baby. I agree that breasts have an incredible functional purpose, one that I thank God for, but I can’t help but be aware of their sexual nature as well. Perhaps it would be more convenient if they weren’t viewed that way, but in 21st century America they are. Although I am in full support of discreet public breastfeeding (and this doesn’t necessitate a cover!), it seems futile to me to pretend, as it seems many would like to, that there is nothing sexual about breasts. My thoughts, which are still forming, is that breastfeeding in public should be just as accepted as bottle feeding in public. When there is no exhibition, but simply a mother providing nourishment to her child, it is something that should be praised by all. 

It was good to read this book, and though the latter half was not what I had hoped it would be, it still enabled me to think through a few aspects of breastfeeding, and form my own opinions a little more concretely. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

P.S. I’ve heard from friends that when they had their second baby, they tended to shed the cover more when they were in public, because they had gotten good at being discreet without it. I’m interested to see what it looks like for me to breastfeed this second little babe of mine. DId you go without a cover more with your second?

And in case you missed it... The Nightstand, VOLUME ONE.

Pregnant | 10 tips for surviving—and dare I say, thriving— during those last few weeks

See tip #2 for why this picture relates at all to this post. Thanks, Katie (and Brian)!

If anyone needs a survival guide, I think it’s extremely pregnant women, so here are a few tips from little ol’ moi.

One.

Stick to those things that made your body feel well and healthy in the second trimester. That means keep drinking water, keep eating healthy, and keep exercising. I’ve failed at this miserably, but it’s still a good idea.

Two. 

Surround yourself with awesome, supportive, and loving friends. Some such marvelous ladies threw me a baby shower last weekend, and it was such a blessing. We talked, we ate, we crafted. A couple days ago I went on a long walk with another friend (you know, trying to walk the baby out in the heat), and yesterday I received some packages in the mail (above) from that very same friend. Good friends definitely help pass the time, and make it sweet. I love that I’ve been reminded daily what amazing people are going to help us raise our boys.

Three.

Make each day such that at the end of it, you thank God that you didn’t have the baby the day before. This is one of my best tips right here, so take note! Keep reading those birth books, keep tackling projects around your house, keep doing those kegels. I tell myself each day that there is a reason that I’m still pregnant, and things I need to be doing besides lying in bed with a newborn. If you spend each day like there is purpose in it, you’ll find yourself forgetting about your extreme discomfort, growing stretch marks, backaches and lack of sleep.

Four.

Sleep. Now we all know that sleep is an elusive concept at the end of pregnancy, so my strategy is to look at it as bootcamp for a soon-to-be-mother-of-a-newborn. When I was at the end of my pregnancy with Seb, I spent a lot of time thinking wistfully about the day soon coming when I would be able to get some rest. Right... So now, when I have to get up to pee or readjust my huge self every hour or two, I just think of it as training for when I have to wake up that often to nurse my little man. I’m going to dominate the night routine, let me tell you.

Five.

Feel free to crank up the air conditioning. It’s only a few weeks of added cooling costs, but if you feel sluggish and miserable because it’s 80 degrees in your home, turn on the AC. I resisted for a while, but it has made such a difference in my ability to cope with being so pregnant. I cut back when I can, but if you can’t, don’t. It’s not worth it.

Six.

If you don’t sleep well at night, take advantage of any amount of drowsiness during the day and try to get a few winks. I take naps every day because I don’t get much sleep at night and find that I rest better if it’s in smaller increments throughout the day and night. The reason I think this is so important is because the majority of women go into labor in the evening. If you haven’t been sleeping well at night, and then you deprive yourself of a nap, those contractions, or sudden breaking of your waters just as you’re about to get some much needed rest will make you want to cry. My water broke with Seb at 1:00 a.m., just as I was falling asleep. It was a long labor, so I went a very very long time without sleep, which made it much more difficult to cope.

Seven.

I have this ridiculous goal for myself. I know that a lot of women could care less if they have shaved their legs or painted their toenails (especially when it’s so difficult to reach them!), but for some reason I do. It makes me feel like I’m ready to go, so you better believe I don’t put off a shower until the next day because it’s late at night and I just don’t feel like drying my hair. There’s not much about your body that you can control at the end of your pregnancy, and if that bothers you, pick a few things that will make you feel better, and commit to doing them. My essentials: razor, Palmer’s body oil, and nail polish. Bam. You’ll feel like a goddess in spite of your swollen ankles.

Eight.

Give into crazy nesting urges. It's exhausting. It's weird. But it's kind of fun, too.

Nine.

Save some of that baby laundry. Of course you need to have some essentials on hand in case the baby makes an early arrival, but save some more unnecessary tasks for those days when you're just waiting waiting waiting.

Ten.

Whether it's through reading, talking with friends who have had babies, talking to your doc or midwife, or simply praying, try to get to a place where you feel at peace about labor and delivery. I went through a patch where I just couldn't think of anything but getting this baby out NOW, and then I went through a patch where I was so freaked out about giving birth that I didn't think I would be able to handle it when my contractions hit, and now, I just feel so good about it. I'm ready. I know what I need to know, my family it taken care of, my refrigerator is full, I have lists on the fridge with household chores, emergency contacts, foods Seb will eat (this is just silly...), and even directions for washing Seb's diapers, in case I have to rush to the Birthing Center right before I get to throw a load in! We. Are. Ready.

And now so are you. Go kick those last weeks of pregnancy in the pants.

Home | The 4 of us at 33 weeks

I think it's safe to say that we're all dog-tired around here. It's 88 degrees today and nearly impossible to stay cool. I think I might have scared Cody a little by how adamant I was that 77 was the highest possible temperature I could endure in our apartment. It might have been the great detail I went into about how essential it was for my well-being and, and I might have thrown in something about "If you want me to keep having your babies..."

I had a prenatal appointment today and found out that I have to go to UNC for an ultrasound tomorrow to check the amniotic fluid level. It would appear that I have too much. Praying for good results, because if I have way too much, I won't be able to have this little man at the birthing center. The hospital is the place to be for a high risk birth. Not so nervous about the hospital part, but the high-risk-birth part? Apparently when you have too much amniotic fluid, it's much more likely that the cord will get between the head and cervix during delivery. And if it turns out that I don't have too much amniotic fluid, someone will have to tell me why I'm measuring at 35 weeks. This baby is coming early, folks. I can feel it. Let's just hope he's not born in our car in the mountains of Virginia...

Baby #2 | Some thoughts near the end

Some mostly giddy thoughts, and one 3rd trimester reality I can’t ever seem to be prepared for, as I enter week 32...

Reality

Wow, sleeping is just a nuisance... I wish I didn’t have to sleep. This thought surprised me when I was pregnant with Seb, and just yesterday surprised me again. Apparently I’m a slow learner. There just comes a point in pregnancy when your stomach is so heavy, it’s almost painful to roll over because of that split second when all the weight of your baby/amniotic fluid/placenta crush all the rest of your internal organs, and then there’s the bathroom trips every 30 minutes to 2 hours in the middle of the night, which inevitably hit in the middle of your sleep cycle. I’m shocked I haven’t fallen over or run into a wall in the middle of the night!

Giddiness

There is another little soul in there! I think this often now, thanks to Bethany who, when she held Sebastian a few days after his birth, exclaimed in wonderment, “He’s an immortal soul!” Thanks, Bethany, It’s one of our favorite memories of Seb’s first week of life outside the womb.

We get to name a human being. Yes, I’ve already done it once, but it just amazes me to think about it. I love names, and to me, this is an extremely important and exciting job. It just hit me recently how near we are to decision time, and makes me giddy to think about bringing a little baby home from the birthing center and having him be a part of our lives, name and all. Also, a few little hints on our names: We love Saints names, I particularly seem to like names that show up in Disney movies, and most of the names on our list sound like old man names. Yea. How excited are you!?

That moment when I’m doing some mundane, run-of-the-mill task, like brushing my teeth just hours after the baby is born, and thinking, “I’ve done it! The baby is here! He’s right over there and I’m just brushin’ my teeth!” Goodness, that’s just one of the best feelings.

And finally,

Hhmm... this baby is due June 20th. Okay, I have just about 2 months exactly. Cool. Wait a minute... Seb was due June 15th, but he was born on May 29th. So technically, this baby could come in ONE MONTH, not two... Someone please tell me how to prepare for this baby’s birth.

One thing is certain, 

I am positively giddy about this new baby. What will he look like? What will we name him? 

Oh my gosh he’s going to be sooooo tiny!

I can’t wait.

Style | Easy ensemble

I love this simple Madewell dress paired with Saltwater sandals.

I've gotten to that point in my pregnancy when, even though I have only two tanks that cover my impossibly huge belly and nothing other than athletic shorts to keep me cool, I've set my sights to what I'm going to wear after pregnancy. A task, which in my opinion, is just as daunting as figuring out how to dress during pregnancy. Suddenly, I've forgotten completely what I wore after Sebastian was born, so I've got a little brainstorming to do... An added challenge will be figuring out how to dress for the scorching heat while nursing! Dear Michigan, I miss your cool Summer breezes already.

Do you have any brilliantly simple summer wardrobe staples?

Pregnant | Two workout DVD's you can't afford to go without

When people ask me how I'm feeling, I can most days say that I'm feeling great and normal. You know, except for the fact that I'm carrying a beach ball in front of me and have to pee every 15 minutes. The reason for this has everything to do with these two DVD's that I want to share with you. If you're pregnant, I hope you'll pick them up and make them a part of your routine.

10 Minute Solution: Prenatal Pilates

If you want a workout that molds to any schedule, is easily mixed up for variety, is modified pilates, won't baby your pregnant body, but you can be sure won't be too intense, and has great variety, then this is your video.

Things I love about it: 

1. The Pilates for Flexibility segment is great for lower back pain.

2. The Total Body Pilates segment really works the arms.

3. The way I can pick and choose which segments I want to do that day. I've also noticed that it's way easier to motivate myself to workout if I can just do 10 minutes. Without fail, if I do one 10 minute segment, I'm energized to do more.

4. Because this video isn't terribly intense, I find it easier to do on days when I'm tired or not feeling great.

Suzanne Bowen's Long and Lean Prenatal Workout

This workout is divided into one 20 minute standing workout, one 20 minute mat workout, and the most incredible 10 minute stretch and relax segment. It is so intense, yet simple and relaxing at the same time.

Things I love about it:

1. All you need is yourself and a mat. There are no pillows or weights needed.

2. None of the moves require you to lie on your back, even in the mat segment.

3. This workout kicked my butt before I got pregnant. If you want something that will continue to challenge your whole body, while still being safe for your baby, this is it.

4. The whole video is relaxing and simple, making your workout a restful time.

5. This video should be among every pregnant woman's arsenal if for no other reason than for the 10 minute stretch and relax segment. It stretches your hips so well. I can't even describe to you how great I feel after doing this segment. Most of my tightness and pain is in the hips when I'm pregnant, and this segment has brought me so much relief. I'm actually sleeping now! Well, except for the 4+ trips I take to the bathroom every night.

With these two DVD's I have sufficient variety to my workouts and often mix and match the two videos based on how I'm feeling each day. I hope you're convinced that you need to buy these DVD's like yesterday.

Home | 27 weeks

Relaxing on our patio with a good book, freshly painted toenails and my 3rd trimester tummy. 

Can't wait to meet my little boy.

And a gem for you from my book, because who knew that The Sword in the Stone was much much more than a fun Disney movie...?

"The day after Sir Grummore's visit was hot, sweltering for the men who toiled from milking to milking and then again till sunset in their battle with the sultry element. For the hay was an element to them, like sea or air, in which they bathed and plunged themselves and which they even breathed in. The seeds and small scraps stuck in their hair, their mouths, their nostrils, and worked, tickling, inside their clothes. They did not wear many clothes, and the shadows between their sliding muscles were blue on the nut-brown skins." 

—The Sword in the Stone by T.H. White

Pregnant | DIY maternity shorts & 24 weeks

I am so excited to share my latest DIY with you, even though if I were selling this pair of shorts, they would be listed as "slightly imperfect," or something like that. Nonetheless, I am seriously pleased with them, and they only cost me a bit of time and elastic, as I already had a few pair of Cody's old jeans lying around! If your husbands old jeans don't correspond as nicely as mine with your size (yes, last night I did tell Cody that his hips are just like my pregnant hips, except all the time! We got a good laugh as I'm sure you can imagine) you can go to the thrift store and find a pair that works.

As I didn't have any elastic wider than one inch, which as it turns out is less than ideal for keeping up a pair of maternity pants, this pair is going to be a playground, chase-Seb-around pair, and then I am going to make a couple more once I get some 3 inch elastic.

Here is the tutorial that I referenced. If this one isn't clear enough to you, just do a google search. There are so many tutorials out there on this subject. This one looks good.

P.S. If you don't have access to a sewing machine, but have some pants or shorts you'd like to turn into maternity, check out Belly Jeans, an Etsy store that will take your regular jeans and convert them into maternity jeans!

Oh and I should probably say that once again, this lady was my inspiration. And hello, skirts as tops? What a good idea.

Pregnant | American Apparel?

This post is a result of a thought I had last week about maternity clothes: "All I really need right now is a pack of men's undershirts that are cheap and I can wear to the playground. Surely someone makes a basic, cheap, comfy-casual tee for pregnant women!"

I then remembered the only two sorority tees that I kept and still wear, and both are from American Apparel. I keep going back to them every summer for their incredible fit, length, and their casual but flattering look. Today I am a day short of being 24 weeks pregnant and am wearing one of those tees, which happens to be a whole 2 sizes smaller than my normal size. It still covers my stomach, and although it is a little snug, it's still comfortable and works well in spite of my expanding waistline.

So maybe I've been looking in the wrong place for great basic maternity clothes? Gap has some cute things, but let me tell you, absolutely none of my Gap tees took me to the end of my pregnancy. They are just too short. Why invest in something that you can only wear for a few weeks or months, and not to mention are overpriced and get holes and what-have-you. I want longevity with my maternity clothes.

Here are my two reasons to try American Apparel: 1) You don't get the, "Hey, look at the ruching at my waistline. I'm so pregnant" look, and 2) They are going to help me transition into my postpartum days just beautifully. Who wants to wear maternity clothes after they have a baby? I know I felt sloppy for at least 4 months after having Seb.

In case you still have doubts as to the suitability of American Apparel for your maternity wear, check out this lady's series. American Apparel took her through her entire pregnancy, wearing these shorts at 35 weeks. I am impressed.

Also, in case you are lamenting that the HATCH Collection is so pricey, try these pieces instead: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

So who wants to go to Charlotte with me for some American Apparel action?

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Pregnant | "Baby needs protein!"

I had my 2nd prenatal appointment on Tuesday and I talked with the midwife about my weight and nutrition concerns. It is so amazing to be able to sit down with someone and talk about how to gain only the healthy and necessary weight, and also what I should pay closer attention to in my diet.

We went through the list of things that I ate and drank the day before, and she noticed that I probably didn't have enough protein in my diet. We don't eat much meat, so this wasn't surprising to me, but did you know that you need 3 servings the size of a deck of cards of protein each day? She suggested that I try introducing more beans and nuts. I love trail mix, so honey, I'm there. I also plan to be more dilligent about making hard boiled eggs. I love eating them plain, and it's such a good, quick snack that's packed with protein. We're going to be traveling early Friday morning, so in an effort to get some protein-filled snacks for the road, I bought a nut and cranberry trail mix and some summer sausage. Okay, probs not the lowest calorie way to get protein, but hey! It's for the road, and road snacks are rarely that healthy. I don't actually plan on getting my daily protein from a brick of sausage.

So my new mantra is "Baby needs protein!" Cody just laughs.

I also confided in her that I have a serious problem saying no to sweet things, especially hot chocolate these days. This was her brilliant no-calorie replacement idea:

Favorite Herbal Tea

+

Stevia

+

Fat-free half and half

It gives you a warm, sweet, creamy drink without the calories! I can't wait to try it. Since I didn't have the Stevia or half and half, I got home and made a cup of black tea with a little milk. Definitely the next best thing.

Do you have any low-to-no calorie snack ideas?

P.S. I also found out that if you're a back sleeper, you can keep sleeping on your back so long as it's not uncomfortable, and then when it becomes uncomfortable, all you need to do is prop a pillow under your left hip to put you at a tilt. Praise the Lord! I am going to sleep so much better this time around.

Pregnant | Baby #2

In case you haven't heard, baby no. 2 is on the way!

June 20th, 2012

Pregnant | A little humor for you

I was perusing a few posts from the blog Smallest Things, and happened upon this lovely lady's flikr stream of bump photos. Not only are they terribly cute, but underneath her "overcooked" 41 week photo, she attached this quote:

"I dream about the birth: I am lying on a sexy, pink satin quilted four-poster bed reading a magazine full of photos of gorgeous clothes I could afford that would look quite nice on me when a man in a leopard-skin suit comes past with a cocktail trolley on wheels full of excellent cakes, bottles of attractively coloured alcohol, an icebucket and some syringes. 'Martini?' he inquires politely. 'Or perhaps an epidural?' Just at that moment a perfectly charming baby pops out of me. 'Ow,' I remark, absent-mindedly. 'Why thank you, I'll take a gin and lime. And a small colostrum for my new young friend.'"

Extract from "The Rough Guide to Pregnancy and Birth", by Kaz Cooke.

P.S. Looking for a beautiful, fair trade baby gift? These are perfect.

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Pregnant | Maternity Photo Inspiration

These are hands down the most attractive, respectful and endearing maternity photos that I have seen. Photographer Kelly Hicks captured her pregnant little sister at home, in her bedroom, wearing simple, soft, and comfortable clothing. The poses are pretty, not showy, and do a great job showcasing the simple beauty of pregnancy, and the lovely ordinariness of it all. Doesn't every pregnant woman want to feel like everything is still normal, even though it's undeniably different?

Would you or have you done a maternity photo shoot? I wasn't feeling up for professional pictures when I was pregnant with Seb (or any pictures!), but now I do wish I had a few, especially in Kelly Hicks' style.

Pregnant | Hospital bag

When my water broke at 1 a.m. on May 28th of last year, still 2.5 weeks before my due date, I was completely unprepared. My bag wasn't packed, and since I was, well, "breaking water" every 5 seconds, I had to sit on the pot and shout instructions to my poor, frazzled husband, who got exactly 30 minutes of sleep before I launched myself out of bed and ran to the bathroom, gushing.


I don't recommend this.


I do, however, recommend packing like Elizabeth from E Tells Tales. She just posted all the things she's putting in her hospital bag in anticipation of her sweet baby's arrival. I think I "ooed" and "awed" a little more with each new thing. My favorite? Baby elephant ears.


I'll do better next time. Thanks, E, for showing us how it's done.


P.S. This photo makes me want to have another baby, like yesterday.