Mama | On being "Mom"

I often share Mom and baby related things, photos of my sweet little guy, and little anecdotes of our life, but seldom go deeper. This is mostly because I don't have the time to sit down and write out a lovely little post, but also because it's hard to put into words what I do every day, and the struggles and triumphs that come along with it.

First I will say that there is nothing I'd rather be doing than being a mom to Sebastian. Second I will say that I can't think of a harder, more tiring job. Those that see me on a day to day basis can attest to this I think. I've had some friends tell me that when they see me and Seb, they want more than anything to be a mom, too, but at the same time, are reminded of how blessed they are even without children right now, and it is a reminder to be content. Do you sense the tug of war that is going on here? I can attest, both from experience and the testimony of friends, that this desire for the love and responsibility that comes with having children is irresistible, but at the same time, we don't want to lose ourselves in the midst of dirty diapers and wakeful nights. After all, wasn't I a 21 year old college student finishing a thesis and studying for comps just two years ago? Is that person gone or just temporarily obscured by the fog of a busy life? I'm sure you have or will have a similar story. It's up to you how long that person will be MIA. And I can promise you, she will be for a little while, but not forever.

How much you struggle with this varies, I'm sure. Some are really good at taking care of themselves. Some, like me, tend to wash a load of diapers instead of drinking a glass of water, feed the baby and nibble on some pretzels (like that's enough nourishment?!), and get the little one dressed instead of paying attention to basic dental hygiene. Of course, all these things must be done for your baby, but what I am learning is that Sebastian can stay in his P.J.'s a few minutes longer while I get ready for the day, and it's alright if he munches on some cheerios while I eat a real meal. And drinking water? It's a must. You are probably laughing at me right now, but it's the truth! I struggle with the most ridiculous things!

But sometimes the things we struggle with as new moms aren't so ridiculous. I wanted more than anything to make matching ties for Cody and Sebastian for Easter, but that didn't happen. Whenever we leave for the weekend, I want the house to be spotless, but that is yet to happen, and surveying the state of our living room right now, I don't think it's going to be an Easter miracle. A few things I remind myself daily (other than to stay hydrated!) are...

1) Have expectations for your day, but don't be crushed when they aren't met
2) Don't get lost in your tasks and forget to enjoy your child(ren)
3) Being a mom is a high and worthy calling
4) "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:9

At the beginning of the day, God is good, and at the end of the day, God is good. If he is glorified, that is all that matters. It is easy to get caught up in the often overwhelming nature of being "Mom," but when my identity is in Christ, the me that I was two years ago is not lost. In fact, if what Romans 5 says is true, my little sufferings are producing perseverance, and that perseverance, character, and that character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, my friends.

No matter what stage you are at in life, remember Christ's sacrifice this Easter weekend. For no matter what our trials and sufferings, "we will all be changed—in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed." What a promise.

And so, I will go through each day and take joy in my sweet little Sebastian, and all the duties that come with being "Mom."

[Photo: For Maundy Thusday I read the stories of The Last Supper and The Garden of Gethsemane to Sebastian from The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones. It is such a wonderful way to start teaching Seb about the sacrifice Christ made on our behalf. I highly recommend it.]