Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Rothko and my closet



I have found that when something, anything, increases to a certain quantity, it ceases to be enjoyable to me and becomes a burden. Too many things around me, too many things on the kitchen counter, a laundry pile too big, a closet too full, too many toys in the living room... it doesn’t matter. I have a rather low tolerance for too much. Maybe it’s my complete hopelessness with numbers, but once going through my closet requires multiplication and division and subtraction, and dreaded fractions, I am lost. I prefer a 2 + 2 = 4 kind of a wardrobe. I never talk about math, but I think Abby's latest post has gotten into my head! Speaking of Abby, she asked if I’d be willing to share about my closet, how I keep it minimal and also enjoy a bare bones wardrobe.

I was really excited by her request because I feel very passionately that it’s important to think about our purchases, about what we put on our bodies, and recognize that clothes do matter. The reality for most of us is that we spend money on clothing that we bring into our homes and wear. And no matter how low maintenance we are, or how afraid we are of becoming or being vain, we still think about clothing and have to buy clothing. So how can we do it better? I strive to buy fewer, quality pieces, and keep my staples simple and adaptable. Doing this gives me the ability to pull anything out of my closet in the morning with little more thought than, “Oh, I could put this sweater with this shirt today. Rainy out? I feel like matching the weather, or... maybe not.” I put my clothes on and... done. No stress.

This works for me because I thrive on minimalism. This doesn’t mean it comes naturally to me at all, but I do love it. Some people love a large closet, but not me. I loathe a large closet.

The second bit of possibly-helpful information lies in my recent history with clothing.

Many of the thoughts and ideas I hold about building a useful and beautiful wardrobe began during my pregnancy with Sebastian. I had been the same size from late high school through college, and had never been forced to think through what to do with a body that does unpredictable and confusing things. I was in no way prepared for the roller coaster of body changes that were ahead of me, not just with my pregnancy, but with the postpartum days and breastfeeding. These days were frustrating and left me dreading leaving the house, made me feel self-conscious at parties, and kept me in a constant state of wishing we had more money to spend on clothes. It was not only exhausting for me, but for Cody as well. 

Fast forward to last week when Cody and I were standing in the kitchen talking about clothing (Okay... I was talking. He was listening like the great listener that he is) when, with an excited gasp I said, “Cody. Do you even remember the last time I had a wardrobe crisis?!” He couldn’t. And this was something to be excited about. For most of my life, any event that punctuated the week, like a party, going to church, shopping with friends, etc. caused me to frantically empty my closet and drawers in an attempt to find something—anything—that would look nice. It wasn’t that I wanted a designer wardrobe, I just wanted to be able to get dressed quickly and with ease, and feel comfortable and confident. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard. 

Oddly, the beginning of my make-peace-with-my-closet journey started with the birth, or rather re-birth of Madewell. A clothing store many of you have probably heard of that makes the best jeans of all time (My favorite here, a gift from my awesome husband). Madewell also makes perfect button-down shirts, and I got a few during my postpartum/nursing days with Bruno. These shirts made me happy to get dressed and made it easy to nurse. My two favorites here and here. For the record, I can’t stand “nursing” shirts. I find that they always look frumpy and strange, and are always made of unflattering, clingy knit fabric. That’s a matter of opinion, though.

This probably sounds extremely silly, highlighting a store as the beginning of making peace with my wardrobe, but I think there’s a good takeaway here. What styles of clothing are you drawn to? What stores or designers or artists inspire you? Likely there is a lot of overlap with the kind of interior decorating you employ or don’t, the fine art that gives you tingles up your spine, and the kind of clothing you love. I’d be lying if I said I love all abstract art, but I almost cried the first time I saw a Mark Rothko painting in real life. I must say this fits well with my taste in clothing and silhouettes. Bold and understated—not that my wardrobe could ever come close to a Rothko, but you get the idea. How would you describe your style in one sentence? Do share!

Once you identify your style, refuse to buy clothing, no matter how on sale, that doesn’t fit your style. It’s too easy to have a bulging, underused wardrobe full of “deals” that weigh you down. From my experience, if you don’t love it when you buy it, you won’t love it when it’s in your closet, and therefore, you’ll keep repeating those 3 shirts you have that you do love while the rest get moth-eaten in your closet. You might as well have saved those few dollars for a while to purchase something you would actually use and enjoy. In my opinion, if you can dress weather-appropriate for 1 week and not have to repeat an outfit, you have a large enough wardrobe. Would you agree? Do any of you have a wardrobe like this? Also, I have two pairs of jeans, and that’s enough for me.

I have more to share, but I’ll save it for another day. Was this helpful to you? Interesting? Agree or disagree? I would love to hear your thoughts on your wardrobe or questions you have on the topic!

12 comments:

  1. Love you, love this post..

    HATE MADEWELL. Whiny blog post forthcoming.

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    1. That is totally ridiculous that they would do that! What crappy a crappy excuse for service. : ( I'm super sad that this happened. As much as I talk about Madewell, I literally have only personally bought 3 things from them. And 2 of the three I bought in store and brought them home that day. So you weren't ever able to try the long jeans? And they just apparently don't exist? I'm so bummed for you. But I have faith that you'll still be able to find the perfect jeans! I'll keep my eyes peeled for good recommendations! Also, for as much as the fashion industry praises the tall girl, you would THINK they would be a little more accommodating! Sheesh!

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    2. oh and i love madewell's STYLES, not to be confused with every Madewell store or their headquarters or all of their staff. though I know there are some super sweet Madewell staff out there. One exchanged jeans for my friend that she had already worn and washed, but realized were too big. I'm sorry you didn't get that girl!

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    3. Oh girl believe me -- I still love how all their stuff looks too! I'm sure that this was a fluke, and once I spend a year licking my wounds, I will probably start dreaming of their denim and leather again. ; )

      Also, this post was so beautiful that I did a late night purge last night and as soon as I have time, I have vowed to try EVERYTHING in my closet on and purge again.

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    4. yay! SO exicting! closet cleansing is probably the best kind of therapy after your madewell experience. it's like saying, "Hey, I don't need ya'll! My closet is just fine, thank you!" And I know I commented on your blog, but definitely try old navy, just don't order online. : )

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  2. Mary, the principle of not buying something unless it fits your style is so helpful! Personally, I ask myself, "Do I LOVE this?" and if the answer's no (and I'm honest!), I'm not allowed to buy it. I've also recently needed to pare back spending and the first thing I cut this quarter was my clothing allowance - and honestly, it's so freeing to make yourself wear only what you have without constantly trolling for more. It's making me reevaluate a lot more than just my wardrobe; I've thought more deeply about my self-image and worth as a person in the process. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. I love this, Elise! What you say completely resonates with me. "Trolling for more" is the perfect way of describing it! Not getting sucked into that way of thinking/living opens up room for more lasting personal growth.

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  3. So convicting...and so freeing! Love it, Dell!

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  4. Thank you, Mary! As someone who loves clothes (allows me to express my creativity), I'm always interested in hearing someone who beautifully explains why we ought to think about what we wear and how we choose our clothes. I've spent the winter purging lots of things that don't fit (too big, thankfully), and it's given me a chance to slowly rebuild with better quality and more thought.

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    1. That's great, Bethany! There is nothing wrong with having a larger wardrobe in my mind, so long as it's a wardrobe you use. Like I said, I just can't handle the sheer quantity of things, but some people can. But like you said, "slowly rebuild." Slow is the key word. If we live in a constant want-buy-want-buy-want-buy state, we'll probably end up buying things of poorer quality that won't last as long or be as useful to us.

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  5. I am in the same boat. One too many stupid clothing meltdowns made me resolve, last year, not to buy anything unless I tried it on and immediately said "Oh, I love it!" If I have to convince myself, it's a no-go. As a result, all fall and winter I was able to pull things out of my wardrobe and know that I'd like the resulting outfit. Now to do the same for my warm weather clothes. Since I was newly postpartum last spring and summer, it was tough to find anything that fit well, but now I am mostly back to my normal self (which includes a muffin top if I don't wear the right pants, another motivation to find good ones even if they're pricey!).

    I only own two pairs of jeans too. I do want a pair of navy cords for next fall. And that's another resolution: know ahead of time what I want, so that I'm not suckered into a "good deal" while at the store.

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