Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Nightstand, VOLUME ONE



I’d like to start sharing with you, with some regularity, the books that I’m reading. I won’t promise that what I write will be actual book reviews, or anything terribly inspirational, but I’ve been loving what I’ve been reading, and it seems a shame to not at least mention some things I’ve learned and thoughts that have arisen from the pages I’ve read. I would love for this to be a place for you to share about what you’ve read as well, or if you’ve blogged about the pile on your nightstand, drop me the link so I can check it out.
If you’ve been following my sidebar, you’ll see that I’ve been a little heavy on the birth/child rearing books. I’ve never in my life enjoyed this type of book before, but I’ve been soaking up all the information I can get my hands on in preparation for this baby. After he’s born, I think I’ll lighten up on them, though, and get into some good novels. I do love novels, and miss them. Captains Courageous will eventually be completed, but I feel like I’m in a race against time to learn what I need to about breastfeeding and birth. So Captain, you’ll have to wait a bit longer, I’m afraid. Then I think I might pick up some Austen or Helprin to celebrate the birth of my little one.
Now to the books, shall we? First off, I would highly recommend all the birth/parenting/breastfeeding ones I’ve read so far. Some I don’t agree with entirely, but they’ve opened up new thoughts about birth and breastfeeding and pregnancy. Creating with God: The Holy Confusing Blessedness of Pregnancy, helped me to have a deeper appreciation for what my body is doing in making a little child, and Energetic Pregnancy was invaluable in helping me understand how ones personality can positively and negatively affect ones approach to pregnancy and birth, and gives one tools to harness ones talents and overcome ones struggles.
The Birth Book was recommended to me by a friend who had a very positive birth experience with her son, and said this book helped her be very prepared. I had been wanting to read it for a while, but was never able to get my hands on a copy until a few months ago. I felt that it took a very balanced and common-sense approach to birth, and was extremely insightful. This is definitely my favorite general book on birth and worth reading, even if you’ve already had a baby.
My most recent read, and one that has sparked a lot of questions in my mind, was The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. I think I can safely say that this book has been both the most challenging and insightful for me as I prepare to start breastfeeding again. And to think I almost didn’t read it! I really thought, “Hey! I nursed Sebastian for a whole year. I don’t really need to read a book about it.” Boy was I wrong. In reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, I was able to identify at least a dozen things I did wrong that led to the struggles I had while breastfeeding Seb. It was difficult not to feel bad about things I should have done better with Seb, and for that reason, I think it would be especially difficult for a mother to read who had wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t. I didn’t feel that the book was unjust towards mother’s who haven’t breastfed, but they clearly lay out (about a million times) how much better breast milk is for your baby, and when you keep hearing that over and over again, it would be difficult not to feel bad about bottle feeding, even if it wasn’t by choice. As mothers, we want the best for our children, and even though I was blessed to nurse Sebastian for a year, I finished the book feeling bad that I hadn’t nursed him for two! But maybe that is just me. Regardless, the book brought up a lot of questions in my mind about my approach to breastfeeding, specifically in regards to frequency (On demand? For comfort? Scheduled?). For this reason, I picked up a copy at the birthing center today of Ina May Gaskin’s book, Babies, Breastfeeding, and Bonding, in hopes that I will learn more about the on demand breastfeeding approach and be able to make a more educated decision about what is right for my family. I feel like I know the arguments for weaning early and having a set schedule, but I’m not very familiar with the other ones that attachment parenting recommends. I hope to give you some more thoughts on the subject when I finish Gaskin’s book. Here's a quote from the introduction, in case you're interested: "My purpose is to empower women so that they have a real choice about whether or not to breastfeed. You may choose to breastfeed without knowing enough to have a good chance at succeeding, and that, to my mind, seems only a very limited 'choice.'" I say "amen" to that.  So while I uncover what Gaskin has to say about breastfeeding, I’d love to hear if there was a specific book on the subject that was particularly helpful to you or even just what your approach to/method of breastfeeding is (or was!).
So much to think about, but don’t you just love books? Now it's your turn. Go!


P.S. Some interesting articles regarding breastfeeding, childbirth, and attachment parenting (1/2/3) posted on Marvelous Kiddo today.

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing! I'll add some of these to my to-read list.

    I have a long post about birthing books that I'll be posting soon... :)

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    1. yay! can't wait to read your recommendations!

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  2. I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and her Guide to Breastfeeding, and both of those really helped me. I also read What to Expect When You're Expecting. I loved getting both the doctor and the midwife views/information on birth, since those two camps are often at odds with one another. I felt really prepared for birth, having read those two, and had a wonderful birth experience. Ina May's breastfeeding book was good, too. I mostly focused on the technical aspects, since I read it before ever breastfeeding. After Emma was born, I read Dr. Sears's The Baby Book, which talks about attachment parenting feeding, and I have definitely heard quite a lot about scheduling feeding from my mom. I'd be interested in reading about more different approaches and the philosophy behind them. We've basically just been doing what seems to keep all three of us happy. If any of us starts getting stressed or frustrated or overly demanding, we adjust.

    I don't think that was very clearly put, but I wanted to respond now, since I really like this nightstand idea. :) I've been wanting to do something similar for a while now, so I'm so so glad that you did. Thanks for the book recommendations, Mary!

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    1. hey wendy! i also heard a lot about scheduling from MY mom, haha! it must have been a thing. i know my mom did the on demand approach with my sister and me, but was much happier with more of a schedule with my other siblings. i don't think schedules are bad, but like you said you guys are really just doing what seems to work best for all of you, i think that you have to be flexible in your scheduling because your baby may not really agree with it! my goal with this baby is to strike a balance between the two. i don't think i was quite as flexible as i should have been with seb.

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  3. I'm reading "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" right now too and loving it. I also just finished "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way"; the Bradley method (all natural, drug free, emphasis on relaxation and listening to your body rather than fighting it) is what my mom used and loved and since we're having a home birth, I decided it was worth the read. It was. :)

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    1. so glad you're reading about breastfeeding! that was definitely my #1 mistake in preparation for having a baby. i thought it would just come naturally, but breastfeeding can be really hard at first! i've heard a lot about the bradley method and have some books. i mostly skimmed mine b/c by the time i got around to it, i had already read some other books on birth, and it seemed repetitive. nothing against the bradley method, just there's only so much you can read! haha. i know a lot of people that love it, though. if this were my first baby, i definitely would have spent much more time reading up on it. i'm so glad you are!

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