Brothers | An afternoon at the park + the ultimate parenting book (in my opinion)

this was crazy. i need some bungee cords for the bike...

Lately, life has been difficult with Sebastian. He's had a hard time with transitions of any and every kind (it's time for bed, lunch, to go to the store, etc.) even though we are diligent about giving him ample warning of our plans. As we approach his 3rd birthday, I've been reflecting on this thing called parenting. Until age 2, things were pretty simple with Sebastian. He went down for naps and bedtime with ease, he was happy in any situation and went with the flow of things, and although he's been a picky eater for a while, we never had problems getting him to sit down at a meal. This can be frustrating, and there have been times where I've been at my wit's end. But what I'm realizing about all of this is that this is actually what is supposed to happen.

Now let me clarify: the part that is supposed to happen is that Sebastian is supposed to grow up. He is supposed to form his own opinions, and desire to follow his plans and ideas for things. He is fighting to become an individual, distinct from his parents. The part that is not supposed to happen, or maybe I should say, happen for long, is this extended period of agitation, discontent, and need to always assert his opinion and stick with it until the bitter end.

I am learning, thanks to this incredibly helpful and inspiring book (go buy it now!), that when Sebastian displays this kind of behavior, he is having a difficult time with a change, there's too much stress or stimulation, or he is simply struggling to understand how to assert his individuality. He didn't just magically become a bratty kid. This book has already helped us tremendously in figuring out how to create a more peaceful, enriching environment for Sebastian, and you know what? It's not even been a week and there is a marked difference in him. He is back to his cheerful, goofy self the majority of the day. We still have struggles, but they're spotty, and we're working through them in a healthy way.

A few things we've done:
-When he needs mommy, he gets mommy (Okay, when this is possible).

-TV time has been drastically reduced. For the first few days we cut it out completely. Since then, I ask him if he wants to watch something for a bit, instead of waiting for him to request a movie when he's at an emotional low. This means that he's not filling his emptiness with a movie, but is learning to work through tough situations with play. Even with this small difference, he's been able to handle the end of TV time much better.

-And probably most important, I'm working on my attitude. I'm trying to react more calmly, gently, and lovingly when he's acting out. From the book, "'When your child seems to deserve affection least, that's when they need it most.'" I'm also trying to take him outside more.

As I was reading more of Simplicity Parenting last night, I came to this quote:

"Nature is a warm sensory bath that can counterbalance the cold overwhelm of too much activity, information, or 'stuff.' Time in nature calms and focuses; for most children, it takes only a few minutes for them to begin to explore. Watch as they seek out places that feel particularly right to them, as they gather symbolic objects—leaves, sticks, bits of moss—that they discover. You can't manipulate nature, it must be delved into; it's a vibrant but neutral canvas onto which a child can pour their creativity."

Watching Sebastian take off yesterday chasing a squirrel was proof enough for me of the truth of this statement. Also, a toddler chasing a squirrel might be the funniest thing on earth.

Someday I dream of having a great outdoor space for our children so they can have nature more readily accessible to them. Just for fun, here are a few of my favorite ideas: built in slide (i tend to be overly cautious when it comes to playgrounds—I'm not the only one who thinks they're deadly—so i love the idea of a slide that i don't have to worry about my kids falling off of...), and check out this post about creating an outdoor play space. I really kind of just want some large mounds of dirt. Growing up, there were a few construction projects my parents did, which created mountains of dirt for summers at a time. I remember building stairs into the dirt mountains, alcoves, and even bringing some old rugs up to the flat spaces. In my mind, it was like living here.

P.S. More of these brothers... specifically this post. Oh, and for posterities sake, Sebastian calls a teeter totter a "tigger tiger."

Bruno | Visits and Bruno's baptism

Cody and I aren't very good at being on top of things sometimes. We snuck Bruno in on the last possible Sunday for him to be baptized at our church before our move. And on an unrelated but hilarious note, we're pretty sure that Sebastian thinks Brad is actually Jesus, since Jesus baptizes and wears a long robe, of course. It was a beautiful service and was even more special because my mom, and Bruno's Godfather, Jeff/Buck, were there! Thanks, Katie, for the pictures!

We are so thankful to raise this little one with the help and prayers of those in our church, and friends here and elsewhere. Buck gave Bruno his first bible and book of common prayer. Bruno seemed excited and surprised.

We are also overwhelmed with thankfulness to our parents, whom we got to spend over a week with (sadly, my dad couldn't come). They were such a blessing to us and helped carve out so much time for Cody to study and write papers that otherwise would not have been available to him. My mom let me sleep in until almost noon every day! As much as I'm still very much in denial that we're leaving Durham soon, I am very excited to spend a quality amount of time with our families. Mom, I promise I'll get up with my kids when we're at home. Okay okay, at least when we're living in the apartment...

Little One | Spring gifts

I am charmed by these pants—Diane von Furstenberg for Gap—and this set of wooden Wind in the Willows characters. I highly suggest you buy one both of these for your babies. Or mine. And yes I would put in Bruno in those Zebra leggings in a heartbeat.

Seb | New sweater

Someone is feeling better, and looking mighty fine, if I do say so, in the new sweater Mamaw made him. Unfortunately Bruno is feeling the full impact of the virus now. While he napped for a bit this afternoon, Sebastian and I spent a little while on our balcony planting the basil plant we bought at the farmer's market last week. There is nothing like outside time to refresh this little guy.

We had a good visit with Cody's parents, despite the fact that Sebastian was very sick the entire time. I wouldn't call it "fun" but it was certainly comforting to have them with us. We couldn't have made it through the weekend without them. I actually feel pretty rested, and not very stressed, which I can promise you wouldn't have been the case without their help and encouragement. We are so blessed to have such a wonderful family.

Seb | The first virus

Our dear Sebastian is experiencing his first tussle with a stomach virus. I took this picture Friday afternoon, when I thought he was just feeling yucky because of his allergies, only to find out a couple hours later that it was the calm before the storm. Poor little man. We took him to the ER last night because he seemed so weak. It seems that it was unnecessary, but I talked to a nurse on the phone who suggested that we go, so we went, and we were there forever. But no surprise there. I do, however, have a peace of mind about this virus that I know I wouldn't have had if we hadn't gone. Now we're just eternally grateful that Cody's parents are in town for the time being and have been so helpful in keeping us clean, fed, and rested. 

But please pray for us. Pray that Sebastian heals quickly, that Bruno can escape this virus (and me and Cody, too), that we don't inadvertently pass it on to others, and that Cody can finish well in these last days of final papers and tests. We're almost there!

Praying that you and your family stay healthy amidst so much sickness.

Toys & Books | Duplo

I have so many things to blog about, like Cody's last day of classes at Duke, trips to the park, hilarious things that my babies are doing these days, and Bruno reaching the 10 mo. mark. But as is often the case when I have so much to share that I don't know where to start, I am breaking the blog silence by sharing with you something that, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty insignificant: Duplo. Who am I kidding? It's life-changing. Whatever great thing you've heard about other blocks is a lie. Duplo is where it's at. I want to kiss the person that thought of these blocks. The only thing that could make them better would be if they were made available in more natural colors... I, of course, would love that. But as is, they're not so bad. Even this mama couldn't part with her Duplo when she rid her home of every toy that wasn't eco friendly or made of wood! They are pure magic, I tell you.

A few nights ago when Katie came over, Sebastian sat on the floor with his Duplo and made a dinosaur while we talked. No one told him to make one, and no one told him how to make it. It was his first real show of creativity with blocks, and I couldn't have been more thrilled at seeing his imagination in action.

I have been thinking a lot about what things we'll be taking with us to Germany, and Duplo is at the top of my list. Even if for some reason Sebastian's interest in Duplo waned, Bruno's will pick up.

But I don't think we need to worry about Sebastian...

North Carolina | What we'll leave behind

When I think of leaving Durham, I'm honestly not that bothered by it. I knew that we would only be here for a short time, and as hard as it is to leave any home we build, we also feel ready for the next thing. But then... I think of the people we love so much, and feel as though I would live here forever. Durham is home to some of the most beautiful people I know. It doesn't seem to matter that many of these people are also transient Durham residents, and that they too will be leaving soon. We're leaving first and I just don't like that.

At the end of this week we were able to spend some beautiful hours with two very dear friends. Lounging, playing, talking with Miss Katie, and a nice long walk downtown to a new ice cream place with Miss Megan and Finnegan. I will miss these two so so very much (almost as much as Sebastian).

We love you Katie and Megan, and the rest of the beautiful Durham crowd! Thank you for making our lives here so sweet.